Saturday, May 7, 2011

Atheists Can Be So Unintentionally Comical

Atheists educated about religion on the Internet are so unintentionally funny. Their base assumptions about believers are a self parody. For all you atheists reading this, here are a few pointers to help you along in your (and I use the term loosely) "interactions" with believers.

1. We're not all Catholics. And not being Catholics doesn't automatically make the rest of us Mormons or members of Westboro Baptist.

2. We don't automatically believe everything we're told. Otherwise we'd believe everything you Atheists utter.

3. We believers ARE capable of "critical thinking". Atheists just hate when that thinking is directed at them.

4. Yes, we know that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are really Mom and Dad.

5. We all know about the comparisons between the Egyptian god Horus and Christ. We hear that constantly. Here's a reality check for you: Bill Maher, the atheistic host of the crockumentary "Religulous", is really a comedian, and has no education, in religion, history, or philosophy. I don't hire a plumber to fix computers, get it?

6. No, you don't know more about my faith than I do. You Atheists love to pull out that shopworn survey which claims atheists are smarter on religion than believers. You need to read the fine print: the survey showed EVANGELICALS tested better on their own faith than Atheists tested on evnagelical Christianity. I'm an evangelical believer, and I have studied the Bible on a personal level for over 20 years. Shut up.

7. God doesn't fail to exist simply because you Atheists say He doesn't, and the "you can't prove a negative" response doesn't place you on a higher intellectual plane.

8. Not all believers believe the earth is 10,000 years old, and that controversy doesn't erase God out of existence.

9. No, Atheists are not all nice people. Their nasty comments are spread all over the internet, and it's no mere coincidence that worst, most oppressive regimes on earth were run by Atheists.

10. Believers enjoy sex, too. If we choose not be obsessed with it, that doesn't automatically make us Puritans.

Gee, I hope this helps. Perhaps if more Atheists got past these truly lame assumptions, converstaions on the Internet could be much more productive.

3 comments:

Moi said...

I'm going to link this on my blog :)

Anonymous said...

"1. We're not all Catholics. And not being Catholics doesn't automatically make the rest of us Mormons or members of Westboro Baptist."
But the great majority in western civilization is.

"2. We don't automatically believe everything we're told. Otherwise we'd believe everything you Atheists utter."
No atheist claims this, since no religion could survive if it told its fellows to believe everything.

"3. We believers ARE capable of "critical thinking"."
Partially, only if it fits your "arguments". Everything that contradicts your claims is ignored, such as that an infinite complex entity like God is infinity unlikely, in other words impossible.

"Atheists just hate when that thinking is directed at them."
No - we hate illogical- or pseudo-arguments or if we're confronted with a straw man.

"4. Yes, we know that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are really Mom and Dad."
Straw man.

"5. We all know about the comparisons between the Egyptian god Horus and Christ. We hear that constantly. Here's a reality check for you: Bill Maher, the atheistic host of the crockumentary "Religulous", is really a comedian, and has no education, in religion, history, or philosophy. I don't hire a plumber to fix computers, get it?"
It gets only worse if the plumber shows the computer scientist he is wrong.

"6. No, you don't know more about my faith than I do. You Atheists love to pull out that shopworn survey which claims atheists are smarter on religion than believers. You need to read the fine print: the survey showed EVANGELICALS tested better on their own faith than Atheists tested on evnagelical Christianity. I'm an evangelical believer, and I have studied the Bible on a personal level for over 20 years. Shut up."
Congratulations, you're an expert in a fairy tale. You wasted 20 years of your life.
Also, the kid in The Emperor's New Clothes surely wasn't a fashion-designer. But that makes it even worse.

"7. God doesn't fail to exist simply because you Atheists say He doesn't, and the "you can't prove a negative" response doesn't place you on a higher intellectual plane."
We're basing our world view on facts, and not on a fairy tale that's a few thousand years old.

"8. Not all believers believe the earth is 10,000 years old, and that controversy doesn't erase God out of existence."
A lot do believe this.

"9. No, Atheists are not all nice people. Their nasty comments are spread all over the internet"
Strange, I wanted to say exactly the same about you.

"and it's no mere coincidence that worst, most oppressive regimes on earth were run by Atheists."
No, it's no coincide because it is not true. Hitler was a believer, Stalin made a religion out of his personal cult and many other regimes today use religion to protect themselves, or to begin war. Atheism has never been used for this.

"10. Believers enjoy sex, too. If we choose not be obsessed with it, that doesn't automatically make us Puritans."
Fine

Stoogie said...

Anonymous:

1. Doesn't justify a blanket statement about religion. Sorry.

2. MANY atheists on the web have accused people like me of being gullible retards. You're just wrong.

3. You need to prove an infinite God is impossible.

4. Likening Jesus to Santa IS a straw man argument, get it?

5. Bill Maher failed to do that, and if he had bothered to read up on the matter, he wouldn't have made such a fool of himself. Or maybe he really doesn't care about intellectual honesty.

6. Your opinion, which still doesn't make you any more intelligent on my so called fairy tale. I'll decide what is time wasted.

7. Then prove FACTUALLY there is no God, and please don't hide behind the "You can't prove a negative" defense. It's so trite.

8. Moot argument. Next?

9. Sorry if I made you mad. I have yet to get an apology from any atheist for doing the same.

10. That's it?

Thanks for playing.