Saturday, May 7, 2011

Atheists Can Be So Unintentionally Comical

Atheists educated about religion on the Internet are so unintentionally funny. Their base assumptions about believers are a self parody. For all you atheists reading this, here are a few pointers to help you along in your (and I use the term loosely) "interactions" with believers.

1. We're not all Catholics. And not being Catholics doesn't automatically make the rest of us Mormons or members of Westboro Baptist.

2. We don't automatically believe everything we're told. Otherwise we'd believe everything you Atheists utter.

3. We believers ARE capable of "critical thinking". Atheists just hate when that thinking is directed at them.

4. Yes, we know that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are really Mom and Dad.

5. We all know about the comparisons between the Egyptian god Horus and Christ. We hear that constantly. Here's a reality check for you: Bill Maher, the atheistic host of the crockumentary "Religulous", is really a comedian, and has no education, in religion, history, or philosophy. I don't hire a plumber to fix computers, get it?

6. No, you don't know more about my faith than I do. You Atheists love to pull out that shopworn survey which claims atheists are smarter on religion than believers. You need to read the fine print: the survey showed EVANGELICALS tested better on their own faith than Atheists tested on evnagelical Christianity. I'm an evangelical believer, and I have studied the Bible on a personal level for over 20 years. Shut up.

7. God doesn't fail to exist simply because you Atheists say He doesn't, and the "you can't prove a negative" response doesn't place you on a higher intellectual plane.

8. Not all believers believe the earth is 10,000 years old, and that controversy doesn't erase God out of existence.

9. No, Atheists are not all nice people. Their nasty comments are spread all over the internet, and it's no mere coincidence that worst, most oppressive regimes on earth were run by Atheists.

10. Believers enjoy sex, too. If we choose not be obsessed with it, that doesn't automatically make us Puritans.

Gee, I hope this helps. Perhaps if more Atheists got past these truly lame assumptions, converstaions on the Internet could be much more productive.