The Village Atheist
Sick and tired of hearing "Merry Christmas" coming from the lips of those deluded, moronic "Xians"? Feeling lonely and dejected while sky fairy fanatics cover their houses with offensive religious graffiti and energy-wasting decorations? Does it feel as if the whole world is mocking you poor, oppressed, reasonable godless people every December?
Well, do we have the perfect gift for YOU... one that reflects your true feelings for this time of hypocritical Christian frivolity... The Village Atheist Whining Towel!
Wear this item proudly as you jog past your neighborhood gawd-house, and let those silly religious fools see how YOU really feel! This towel is decorated with popular atheist sentiments like:
Stop forcing your religion on me!
Your god didn’t help me win the lotto!
I’m a persecuted godless person!
Stop harassing me with those chintzy lights!
That church steeple is an eyesore!
I use your bye-bull for toilet paper!
Why did you mention that J-word?
I don’t wanna hear about your Sky Fairy!
It’s WINTER SOLSTICE, dagnabbit!
You stupid Xians are irrational and hateful!
May you die a horrible death! Merry Mythmas!
Get one today! Buy a dozen and give them to your friends! Leave one at your Christian neighbor's doorstep... that'll show him!
The Village Atheist Whining Towel... for single-minded "FreeThinkers" everywhere!