Monday, September 10, 2007

Atheists Make "Convincing Arguements" Against Christianity

Here's an interpretive sampling of what typical atheists post on the Inter-Web:

"Richard Dawkins says God doesn't exist, and that's good enough for me. He's never been wrong about anything."

Atheists are smarter and more mature than you dum-dum, stupid-head Christians, so nerny nerny boo boo on you!

Atheists love their lives more than you Christians, so why don't you all just roll over and croak.

Atheists are far more compassionate, understanding, and tolerant than you bigoted, hateful, self-righteous Christian jerks.

Atheists could run this world far better, so why don't you Christians just go away, and take the Salvation Army, Christian Children's Fund, and all those Skid Row rescue missions with you.

The Bible is nothing but mythology and mentions imaginary persons like Tiberius Caesar.

Atheists value life more than you anti-abortion, anti-euthanasia Christofascists.

Atheism is just better than Christianity, so deal with it, you losers.

You Christians are all delusional and should be fed pills to cope with your insanity.

We've only said a gozillion times that since God won't appear as George Burns and do a soft-shoe for us, then that proves God doesn't exist.

Atheism: Good. Christianity: Bad.

The Darwinian Naturalist Theory of Evolution has proven that God doesn't exist. We still call it a "theory" because it sounds much cooler than the "Law of Evolution".

We know that all Christians are hypocrites. That proves God doesn't exist.

"I asked God to help me win the Lottery. I didn't win, so prayer doesn't work. That means God doesn't exist."

There are a million religions all trying to get God's attention. That means, since the world can't agree as one about who God is, God doesn't exist.

If God existed, He'd take His big finger and write, "Jesus Lives" in glowing neon on the surface of the Moon, in every language and dialect.

Atheists have a built-in set of superior morals, right from birth. And since we don't believe in God, those morals came from evolution, and that proves God doesn't exist.

If God existed, He wouldn't create Christians. He'd create smart atheists instead.

You Christians can't handle life, so you invented a crutch named God, instead of getting drunk like the rest of us.

Face it, you Christians just stink. Now go sit in a church somewhere.

If God gives us atheists enough empirical evidence of His existence, we'll think about whether or not He's allowed to exist.

Religious people have commited numerous crimes over the centuries, so that means God doesn't exist.

The only reason you Christians believe in God is because your abusive horrible parents brainwashed you.

If God existed, He'd create everybody with an athlete's body and an IQ of 200.

If God existed, the planets would be in perfect alignment, peace would reign all over the earth, and fluffy bunnies would be everywhere.

God doesn't think or act the way we atheists think God should, so God doesn't exist.

God hasn't shut down all the atheist websites, so that means God doesn't exist.

If God existed, He'd strike down all the atheists with lightning for committing blasphemy.

If God existed, He'd be an atheist.

If God existed, He'd favor all of us clear-thinking, reasonable atheists over you Christian whackos.

If God existed, he would have killed off Adolph Hitler, Josef Stalin, Pol Pot, Torquemada the Inquisitor, Jerry Falwell, Jim Jones, and David Koresh before they hurt anybody.

If God existed, He'd cause all deformed fetuses to be micarried.

The world isn't perfect, therefore, God doesn't exist.

If God existed, He wouldn't have created Lucifer, the fallen angel.

Nobody knows who created God, therefore, God doesn't exist.

The Universe began with a Big Bang, and that proves God doesn't exist.

Christians are too stupid to believe in science, which proves that God doesn't exist.

We atheists know God doesn't exist, so just deal with it.


Anonymous said...

Wow, how intimidating.....

Anonymous said...

The simple fact that you haven't been kidnapped for Epic Poetic Justice proves that the pro-choicers have the moral high ground on the issue of voluntary euthanasia.

Stoogie said...

Is that the best you have? Aren't you supposed to be smarter than me?